


Faithless

by Jane Jones (raynewton)



Category: Star Trek: Mirror Universe
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-20
Updated: 2014-03-20
Packaged: 2018-01-16 09:17:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1341763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raynewton/pseuds/Jane%20Jones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Betraying a bond carries a terrible punishment</p>
            </blockquote>





	Faithless

**Author's Note:**

> This was written as part of a challenge for a very explicit Slave scenario. At a time when this was a popular theme

The Faithless

by Jane Jones

Captain James Kirk of the Enterprise strode confidently through the arrival lounge of the Vulcan Space Terminal, arrogantly shouldering aside those less fortunate beings - including a party of Empire dignitaries - who were forced to undergo the humiliation of queuing for the rigorous identity checks insisted on by the VulcanGovernment. He felt, and savoured, their resentment that a mere Starship Captain should be received with such deference, whilst they were forced to wait.

He snapped a command, and an air taxi was put at his disposal, despite the protests of the couple at the head of the queue; when they realised who had usurped their place, they were profuse in their apologies.

Kirk gave the destination to the pilot, and settled back in the seat to relax during the twenty minute flight to Sarek's house on the edge of the Sas-a-shar desert.

Indeed, his instincts had served him well, he thought, when he had yielded to the quixotic impulse to save Spock's life during the Vulcan's last pon farr. Although never in his wildest dreams had he imagined himself the consort of a male, the advantages had proved to be considerable, and so far he had encountered no drawbacks.

Apart from Amanda, no Humans were aware of his bonding; and to Vulcans, he was greatly to be envied; Consort of the legendary Spock of Vulcan, a member of one of the ruling families of the planet, and one of his world's finest warriors. And Kirk too was respected in his own right for his numerous achievements in Starfleet and in the service of the Empire.

More, the personal relationship with Spock had proved... unexpectedly rewarding. The Vulcan was an experienced and inventive lover, yet responsive and compliant when Kirk, as he usually did, made the advances.

The most important factor from Kirk's own point of view, however, was that he was now absolutely certain of the Vulcan's total loyalty - Spock's committment to his bondmate would compel him to defend the Human against the might of the Empire itself.

Kirk had refused to allow Spock the same certainty, however. Terrified of the mind link, (although he had used it on occasion when it suited him) he had resisted all Spock's attempts to persuade him to agree to a bond. At last the Vulcan had capitulated, settling for what Kirk was prapared to give him, a purely physical relationship; but he had warned the Human that he must pretend to be bonded. And willing to agree to almost anything, so long as he did not have to submit to Spock's mental domination, Kirk had agreed, and the bonding ceremony had concluded with a 'pretense' of forming the bonding meld.

Since that day Kirk had been accepted on Vulcan as a member of one of its ruling families, and that race of fiercely-proud warriors - so feared by the Empire that even that ruthless Government regarded them as allies rather than subjects - welcomed the arrogant Human as one of their own kind.

Yes, Kirk thought, he had indeed chosen wisely when he had agreed to link his life with Spock's.

***

The air taxi landed, and Kirk ran up the steps into the entrance hall, strangely eager to see Spock again after their parting. The Vulcan had returned to his home some weeks earlier, while Kirk had been detained on Starbase 32, and was only now free to join him. It had been a novel experience for Kirk to miss someone as much as he had missed Spock - he had found himself counting the days until they could be together - and, ashamed, he had tried to pretend that he was not.

"Spock, I'm back! Where are you?" he called, heading for the wing of the house that formed Spock's private apartments.

"Spock is in here. Will you please join us?"

Kirk smothered a groan of dismay as he turned to face Sarek, who was standing in the doorway of his study. Reluctantly he followed the Vulcan into the room, hoping this wasn't going to take too long - he wanted to be alone with Spock.

As he entered the study, Kirk nodded a casual greeting to Amanada, who was sitting in a chair by the desk; Sarek standing behind her. Spock was by the ornate open fireplace, gazing intently into the flames; he lifted his head as Kirk came in, and stood looking at him.

With a sudden perverse impulse to shock the older couple, Kirk walked over and put his hands on his lover's shoulders.

"Miss me?" he breathed, and reached up to kiss Spock's lips. At the touch of the warm mouth he abandoned any restraint and hugged Spock fiercely, pressing close with the full length of his body.

After a few moments Kirk drew back uncertainly; despite his dislike of intimacy in public, Spock had always responded to him; but this time the body in his arms was as unyielding as stone. Without a word Spock reached up, unfastened Kink's arms from around his nook, and stepped back; his eyes had never been so remote.

"Hey, what's this?" Kirk laughed nervously. "Is this any way to greet your bondmate?"

"I see no bondmate here," Sarek said harshly, "I see only a faithless wanton who has dishonoured his vows."

"Father, have a care." Spock's voice was dangerous. "Out of respect for you, I have promised to hear you, but if you cannot prove your words, you will answer to me."

"Whet the hell is going on here?" Kirk was becoming angry. "I demand to know..."

"Two weeks ago I was on Starbase 12 as the guest of the Rigellian Ambassador," Sarek said stiffly, "attending a reception given by Commodore Rinaldo. A young Human female was pointed out to me, and I was informed that she was one of the Empire's most notorious courtesans - it was said that she had even served the Emperor himself."

Kirk threw himself into a chair. "A Vulcan listening to scandal?" he said lightly. "I'd not have thought it of you, Sarek." Despite his casual air, there was a note of apprehension in his voice.

"It was her escort who interested me," Sarek continued as though there had been no interruption. "I had not thought to see James Kirk, my son's bondmate, in such company."

"Even when she's an old friend?" Kirk's temper was building rapidly but he fought it down. "Spock, you remember Ruth? At least, you met her counterpart on the shore leave planet. What was I supposed to do? Cut her dead, just because we're bonded?"

"Such an association might be regarded as an indiscretion, nothing more," Sarek said stiffly, "and so I chose to regard it, until Commodore Rinaldo informed me that the entire Starbase was talking of the fact that this woman had refused a summons from one of the most highly-placed men in the Empire - in order to resume an affair with that same James Kirk." 

"Gossip!" Kirk said scornfully.

"So I wished to believe," Sarek continued sternly, "but for the honour of my house I made discreet enquiries. The evidence was overwhelmingly conclusive - for at least two weeks, you were the lover of this woman. My son..." he turned to Spock, "it is my sorrow that I should be the one to inform you of your bondmate's wanton behaviour."

"What of it?" Kirk snapped, goaded to fury by the contempt in Sarek's voice. "It's no business of yours if I lay every whore from here to the Romulan Empire! So I spent a few nights with Ruth. BIG DEAL: Nobody tells ME who to sleep with Sarek - I make my own decisions!"

"Then you did make love to this woman?" Spock's voice was curiously muffled. 

"OF COURSE I DID! We had some good times in the past... and I've never bean one to refuse anything that's offered to me on a plate." Kirk turned his head to grin at Spock as he spoke. "It didn't mean anything," he added, "she knew that, and..." He stopped abruptly, appalled as he met Spock's eyes, and saw that deep within the Vulcan something was dying in unutterable agony.

"Spock!" At once he was out of his chair, reaching for his lover, "Oh, Spock. Don't. She meant nothing, I swear it! I'll never..."

"Do not touch me." Spock turned away, burying his face in his shaking hands. Kirk watched him, troubled and bewildered - surely he had done nothing so very terrible? One indiscretion? Spock wouldn't hold that against him... He'd make it up to the Vulcan...

"Spock, you must control." Sarek moved forward to lay a consoling hand on his son's shoulder. "You are half Human, bonded to a Human... the link was too weak to warn you of his treachery. Have courage, my son - such a bond can easily be broken. I will summon the healer to oversee the. severance - when you are free, Kirk will pay for what he has done. Indeed... he will pay." Sarek too believed they were truly bonded, but it was the implied threat that worried Kirk.

"Pay? What do you mean?" For. the first time Kirk felt the cold touch of fear. It was Amanda who answered, her voice ugly with hatred. "An unchaste bondmate is put to death - strangled publicly after the severance of the bond."

"Str... NO! Is this some sick joke?" Kirk stared in disbelief. "Just because I spent a few nights with Ruth... I don't believe it:"

"It is no joke, as you will soon learn." Sarek moved closer to Kirk, his face mirroring his wife's hatred. "For the disgrace you have brought to this house, for the shame you have brought to my son, you will be taken to the city in the morning, and stripped naked in the public square. You will be whipped, and exposed to the people; at sunset you will be strangled, your body cast into the desert to feed the le-matyas..."

"No!" The harsh denial came from Spock, who stared at his father with wild eyes. "He must not die."

"My Son, you cannot forgive such a betrayal," Sarek protested. "I will not permit it."

"I do not speak of forgiveness," Spock looked at Kirk; his eyes were utterly blank. "Consider, Father. For the second time, I am shamed. I wiil not endure that Vulcan should know of this disgrace also."

"But he must be punished."

"He will be - a punishment worse for him to endure than death - I will make him Sh'antal."

"Sh'antal." Sarek drew a gloating breath. "That is indeed appropriate. He will pay for his crime every minute of his life, until you tire of him."

"Truly. Mother, you should not witness this. Please retire."

Amanda noddod and left the room with one contemptuous glance at Kirk.

The Human looked from father to son, seeing the same determination in both faces. that was going to happen to him? What was a Sh'antal, and why did Spock think it a worse punishment than death? Unbidden, he remembered tales he had heard of Vukcan's savage past, and recalled that even today this ruthless people were considered the finest and cruellest warriors in the Empire - their controlled aggression making them respected and even feared by the more volatile, and more predictable Humans. Indeed, Kirk had often felt that had the desert planet supported a larger population, it would have been the Vulcan Empire, not the Terran, that dominated the Galaxy,

Such thoughts were not reassuring, but Kirk comforted himself with the thought that there was little, really, that they could do to him. He was a Captain in Starfleet, his crew were loyal - even if only out of self-interest - and those officers who might in other circumstances plot his downfall would back any Human against an alien. For the moment, he conceded, he was vulnerable, but once he got back to the ship, power would again be with him... and Spock knew that...

And as for Spock... Kirk shrugged slightly. He had always known how to bend the Vulcan to his own wishes. A sufficiently convincing display of contrition, perhaps even a few tears, and vows of love, and Spock would be only too anxious to take him back. Confident again, Kirk lifted his chin arrogantly, pushing down a twinge of uneasiness as he saw the hatred in Sarek's eyes,

"I think James does not understand," Sarek said harshly. "Explain to him, Spock, what a Sh'antal is."

"You have seen that many Vulcans take male bondmates," Spock told him. "But you do not know, for I kept it from you, that you are... that you were... the only alien to be so honoured. Sardor's Andorian, and Saldar's Human, to mention but two, are not bondmates, but Sh'antal - pleasure slaves, the property of their masters."

"The Empire doesn't recognise slavery!" was the only thing Kirk could think of to say.

"We have never informed them that we practice it," Spock told him drily. "Mind control ensures that the Sh'antal does not complain, and no outworlder, unless he becomes one himself, is permitted to learn the true status of those apparently 'devoted' companions. Even if the Empire did learn of our custom, its rulers are too pragmatic to antagonise Vulcan for the sake of a few foolish individuals, all of whom have brought their fate upon themselves; as you did, by a violation of Vulcan law."

"And you think you can enslave me?" Kirk demanded incredulously.

"I know that I can. You will be whipped, branded, and collared, after which my ownership of you will be recorded in the family archives, to which only Sarek and I have access. No-one else will know of your shame, but you will find it makes... a considerable difference."

"Begin!" Sarek commanded, then he hesitated. "No, wait. The servants must not know of this. In even a disciplined household there can be talk. Take him to your rooms - I will bring what you need, and join you there."

Spock reached out and caught Kirk's wrist, jerking the Human towards him. "You will walk, or you will be carried unconscious - the choice is yours." Aware of the futility of resisting Vulcan strength, Kirk went obediently. He said nothing until the door of Spock's room closed behind them, then he turned to his lover.

"Spock. You can't mean this, there's no need." He lowered his voice to a purring, caressing tone, and pressed his body against Spock's, moving his hips seductively. "I've said I'm sorry, and I'll never do it again. Forget this nonsence, Spock, and take me to bed. You'll find me very co-operative." He smiled at the Vulcan as he spoke; his lips parted in invitation. "You know you want me," he whispered hoarsely. "I'll make it good for you Spock - the best you've ever had."

The Vulcan looked at him for a moment, then his eyes narrowed. "Undress," he commanded, releasing; the Human's arm.

Kirk's grin broadened. "That's my Spock," he purred as he began to strip off his clothes. His hand reached to unfasten his trousers. "You want it, don't you? Nobody else can give you this pleasure." He stepped out of his trousers, kicked away his boots, and stood there naked, aiting for Spock to reach for him. To his surprise the Vulcan made no attempt to do so, but merely watched him blankly.

"Spock?" Kirk's voice held a note of uncertainty. "What...what's wrong?" At the sound of his voice Spock lunged forward, catching at his arms. Before Kirk knew what was happening he had been pushed to his knees and his hands bound with his own sash to a metal ring in the wall.

"Spock, let me go!" Kirk snapped, hoping that the Vulcan would obey the familiar tone of command; instead Spock struck him sharply across the face, setting his ears ringing.

"Sh'antal, you give no orders here." Spock walked across to the display of weapoas on the wall, and after a moment's consideration selected a leather whip. Returning, he caught hold of Kirk's hair, and brought the lash down sharply across the Human's shoulders.

Startled and outraged, Kirk struggled, but was unable to escape the merciless thrashing. Turned by Spock's grip on his hair, he felt the blows fall in turn on his back, his thighs, his buttocks. He knew a moment's terror as he was turned around, but the Vulcan seemed to be taking care to avoid striking his genitals.

The pain increased, spreading through him, and he could only crouch there like a whipped dog, longing for it to end. Soon only his stuuoorn pride kept the tears from falling - pride, and the anger that burned in him at his helplessness.

Footsteps approached, and the beating stopped as Sarek's voice came through the waves of pain.

"You have been merciful, Spock. He deserves a more severe thrashing."

"That would only dull his responses," Spock said indifferently, and Sarek grunted in agreement, stopping to thrust something into the fire. Kirk wondered what it was, then forgot about it as the older Vulcan came over to his son.

"I found this among the family relics - my father's grandfather used it, I believe." Sarek held out a ring of green-gold metal, a heavy but flexible necklet. Spock took it from his father.

"Your slave collar, James. It is sufficiently ornamental to hide your shame - many Humans wear such a thing - but you will know what it signifies." He stooped and fastened the collar around Kirk's neck. "You will be unable to remove it, and should you try to persuade anyone to remove it for you I will know, and you will be punished." He turned to Sarek. "Is the brand ready, father?"

"Yes." Sarek removed a metal rod from the fire. "I selected your personal crest rather than the family brand - a Sh'antal is personal property, not part of the holdings of the household. Where do you wish to mark him?"

"It is usually done on the shoulder," Spock said thoughtfully, while Kirk stared at him in disbelief. "However, it would show when he is in uniform, and would be difficult to explain away. I think... here." He reached out and traced a circle at the top of Kirk's thigh. "It will be visible when he wears slave silk, but at other times will be covered. Hold him for me, father."

Sarek passed the branding iron to Spock, and reached out to grasp Kirk's leg. The Human began to struggle again, but Sarek simply applied a nerve pinch; insufficient to render him unconscious, it drained the strength from his limbs so that he lay helpless, but fully aware.

Pain seared through him as Spock pressed the glowing metal to his thigh, holding it there until he was sure it must have charred to the bone; at last Soock removed it, and surveyed his handiwork with an air of satisfaction.

"It will heal cleanly," he pronounced.

Sarek released Kirk's leg and stood up, "I will leave you to complete his enslavement in private," he grunted.

"Thank you, father." Spock waited until his father had closed the door behind him, then bent to cut Kirk free, pulling him roughly to his feet.

Kirk swayed unsteadily, then leaned against the wall for support. The paim from the whipping had subsided, overwhelmed by the throbbing of the brand, and his stomach churned with nausea.

"If you propose to be sick, use the bathroom," Spock hold him coldly. "You will find something there to ease the burn, but if you damage the outline, it will only have to be redone."

Somehow Kirk managed to stagger into the bathroom, reaching it only just in time. He vomited helplessly, retching until his stomach was empty, than he sank down onto the floor.

The pain in his thigh stirred him to action after a few moments; and he bathed the brand carefully, then smoothed on a soothing cream he normally used to counteract sunburn.

Feeling slightly better, he splashed water over his face, and was just towelling himself dry when Spock called from the other room. "James! Come here:"

Kirk drew a shuddering breath, fighting to keep his temper under control. He was now aware just how angry Spock himself was, and for the first time he felt real fear of the Vulcan, knowing he was totally at his mercy.

This was no time for defiance - if he could just humour Spock until he was safely back on the ship...

In the bedroom Spock was lounging naked in a ehair by the bed, holding a cup of wine. He drank deeply as he watched the Human's approach, and Kirk's nervousness grew - Spock rarely drank wine, and then only a little.

Kirk returned the Vulcan's gaze for a moment, then thought better of it and dropped his eyes, standing apparently meekly under Spock's scrutiny. *I'll play your game for now Spock,* he thought grmily, *but when we get back to the ship - I'll make you pay for this. I'll make you long for death.* 

"You are a fool, Jim." Spock's voice was so low Kirk had to strain to hear it. "You placed too much faith in my Human blood. I always told you the Vulcan was dominant in me, although my love for you kept him leashed. Now you have killed that love, and he is free."

The Vulcan drained. his goblet and threw it aside, when he spoke again his voice was husky. "There are aspects of Vulcan sexuality from which I was able to shield my bondmate, even during pon farr. With my. Sh'antal I can indulge them. Come here."

He stood up, his arms going around Kirk's waist to pull the Human against his body. "Open your mouth."

Kirk obeyed, and his lips were taken in a savage kiss, unlike any other Spock had evar given him. There was none of the tenderness he was used to, none of the pleasure; the Vulcan's tongue roamed his mouth insolently, exploring, probing.

"Good." Spock drew back at last, and shifted his hands to Kirk's shoulders, pushing him to his knees. "Now, suck me." His fingers pressed into the Human's throat. "Do not attempt to bite," he warned, increasing the pressure for a moment. "You will be unconscious before your body can obey the command. Begin."

Kirk moistened his lips nervously and reached his tongue towards Spock's semi-erect penis; he licked at it carefully, tracing the double-ridged head with little darts along the length as it swelled and rose in search of his mouth. Steadying himself by gripping Spock's hips, Kirk took the head between his lips and began to suck at it slowly; Spock' s free hand moved to the back of his head, holding it still while his hips thrust forward as that the rigid flesh filled the human's mouth. Kirk choked and moved his head to accommodate the bulk - he had occasionally performed oral sex in foreplay to arouse the Vulcan, but Spock had never before made him complete the act.

"Suck me!" Spock repeated thickly, and Kirk obeyed, working his lips and tongue frantically. He could feel Spock's resistance, and swore mentally, aware that the Vulcan was deliberately forcing him to increase his efforts. His jaws were aching by the time he sensed Spock's approaching climax, and with relief he began to draw back, intending to allow the penis to slip from his mouth, To his utter horror, Spock's hands closed around his head, holding him firmly in position; there was no resistance he could make as the Vulcan ejaculated into his mouth, pinching his nostrils so that he was forced to swallow the semen,

Only when he had swallowed every drop did Spock release him and move away; Kirk remained kneeling, wiping his mouth with shaking hands.

"You bastard!" he snarled, his voice ugly with loathing. "You'll pay for this, Spock."

"You forget yourself - Sh'antal." Spock caught his arm and threw him onto the bed. "Your body is mine, to use as and when I wish. You may not refuse me... anything,"

Despite his struggles, Kirk was forced to his knees, his shoulders pressed dorm onto the bed. He had forgotten Vulcan strength, he realised - it was so seldom used against him.

"You will submit, or you will be beaten into submission," Spock told him coolly. "Or do you prefer that I call Sarek to hold you down? The choice is yours - it makes no difference to me."

Furious, Kirk yielded again to the inevitable, but he'd be damned if he'd make it any easier for Spock! His every muscle tensed, so that the Vulcan was forced to prise his buttocks apart. Kirk squirmed as the warm fingers burrowed into him, and despite his loathing, his penis began to swell and harden in response to the pressure - Spock had always known how to arouse him. The fingers withdrew, and he felt the blunt head of Spock's penis nudging against his rectum; there was a sharp pain as the engorged flesh penetrated the ring of muscle.

"Damn you, use the lubricant:" he snarled. "You're hurting me!"

Spock only thrust his hips forward, forcing himself deeper into the dry flesh. "The refinements granted to a bondmate are not necessary with a Sh'antal," the Vulcan said, "I want you to feel every minute of this, Jim."

With one final lunge Spock sheathed himself fully and began to thrust into the tight channel. Kirk could hear him moaning with pleasure, and gritted his teeth against the pain. Even the first time, when he had been virgin, had been nothing like this, for Spock had gone slowly, so careful not to hurt him.

He was dizzy with pain by the time Spock had shuddered into orgasm, the slickness of his semen providing some relief to the bruised flesh. Kirk sank back down onto the bad, dimly aware that Spock had rolled off his back and was lying beside him. The insistent throbbing in his groin was becoming insupportable; Kirk propped himself up on one elbow and glared at the Vulcan.

"Finish me off, you bastard," he demanded.

Spock raised an eyebrow. "A master has no obligation to a slave. If you are in need, attend to it yourself."

Cursing, Kirk wrapped his ringers around his swollen penis and milked himself, aware that Spock was watching curiously; he groaned in relief as the climax oame, the semen spilling from him to streak his belly and thighs.

Spock suddenly moved swiftly, leaning over to place his fingera precisely on the Human's face. "Now I will take your mind," he said hoarsely. "Since you found such pleasure in the female whore, you will take her place. You will remember all that passed between you, and you will act her part - with me."

"No!" Kirk's eyes widened with horror. "No... No, I can't!" But even as the denial broke from his lips his hands were reaching for Spock's groin.

***

In the morning Kirk woke slowly, wondering, as he struggled to consciousness, why his body felt so sore. Memory returned with a jolt, and his eyes flew open; Spock was sitting fully dressed on the edge of the bed, watching him with cold, clinical interest.

Involuntarily Kirk shrank back as memories of the night filled his mind. Spock had used him ruthlessly, taking his pleasure without any thought for the Human's wishes; disregarding the pain he caused. Even worse to a man of Kirk's pride was the humiliaton he had endured - Spock had indeed forced him to remember and re-enact his lovemaking with Ruth. The mental rape had been far worse than the physical, for he was left with nothing - every shred of dignity and privacy had been remorselessly stripped from him. Kirk cringed in shame at the memory of some of the actions he had been forced to perform, the things he had been made to say.

"It would seem, Spock, that your Sh'antal has served you well," came a cold voice from the other side of the bed. His eyes wide with disbelief Kirk turned his head on the pillow to m-et Sarek's eyes. He turned to Spock in silent appeal, unable to believe he would humiliate him to this extent. The dark eyes held only amusement at the Human's confusion. Kirk reached for the cover, to conceal his nakedness; but Spock pulled it away.

"Remain as you are," he said. "I wish to look upon you." Kirk coloured, only too well aware of the p-picture he presented - the disordered bed, his bruised body bearing the marks of Spock's hands and teeth, his widespread legs, the trails of semen that smeared his thighs, belly and face.

"There was something you wished to say to me, father?" he continued, turning to Sarek; as he spoke he toyed with Kirk's body, pulling at the bruised nipples, fingering the limp penis, probing between his thighs to insert his fingors into the cool flesh.

That final humiliation broke the Human. He lay with tears streaming down his face, too ashamed to resist while the Vulcans continued their conversation over his abused body. He was only dimly aware that Sarek took his leave at last, and Spock rose to escort him to the door. In that moment he wanted to die, to be free of his shame... he felt that he would never be a man again.

"Get up and wash." Spock had returned, and was standing looking down at him with contempt. "Do you wish the servants to see you looking like this?"

"You didn't mind about Sarek." Kirk made a feeble attempt at defiance as he struggled to his feet.

The Vulcan shruggwd. "My father is permitted to look upon my Sh'antal, but I do not choose that servants should do so. Make haste - Sardor is expecting us this morning."

***

During that leave, Kirk learned what it was to be the Sh'antal of a Vulcan master. In public there was no difference in Spock's attitude, he was treated with all the courtesy offered to a bondmate, but in private his life was an agony of humiliation. The Vulcan used him pitilessly, forcing him always into the passive role, arousing his shamed need but refusing to satisfy it, often even denying him the relief of masturbation.

When they were alone together Kirk was forced to wear the clinging silk tunic of a pleasure slave, merely two strips of very thin fabric caught at the shoulder and waist with metal clasps; open down both sides, it scarcely covered his buttocks at the back, and his penis in front.

If Spock went out alone, as he did from time to time, Kirk was chained in a kneeling position at the foot of the bed, his hands fastened so that he could not relieve himself, and the Vulcan always made a point of stimulating him before leaving. Kirk spent many uncomfortable hours, hot, thirsty; tormented by his need...and Spock seemed to. take pleasure in his discomfort.

One afternoon, when he had been chained since early morning. Amanda came in carrying a basket of Spock's favourite fruit. She set it down on the table and turned to go without even a glance at Kirk.

"Amanda, don't go!" Kirk gasped. "Please... some water.. ."

"You dare speak to me?" Still she did not turn. "Your master will punish you."

"Please... Help me..."

"Help you?" Amanda swung around to stare at him. "I'd sooner kill you."

Kirk licked his dry lips. "I don't understand... you're human, like me... don't leavc me like this please. You can't isaagine what it's like... how he makes me suffer..."

"And what do you think he suffered?" She towered over him. "T'Pring rejected him, and he was shamed -but then it was only his pride that was hurt. You made him love you, then you killed that love... And with it, all the Human in him. God, how he loved you; he fought T'Pau, the Council itself, for the right to bond with you... I warned him that you were treacherous, but he wouldn't listen - and I watched my gentle son in agony!" Bending down, she spat in his face. "I'd kill you without hesitating if it would bring him peace; but all he has now is revenge, and I won't cheat him of one   
minute of it, James Kirk. I hope you rot in hell for what you have done!"

Turning abruptly, she walked out, leaving Kirk still crouching by the bed.

***

At long last the days of that nightmare leave crawled to an end. Spock woke Kirk, and indicated that he was to dress in uniform. One of the servants brought a meal to their room, and as soon as they were alone Spock pushed Kirk to his knees, ordering him to serve the food.

Kirk obeyed, trying to conceal the triumph that filled him. Very soon now they would be back on the ship, his ship, and once there Spock would be at his mercy. He was so absorbed in planning his revenge that he did not notice the hand that settled on his hair until the Vulcan spoke in an amused tone.

"Such violent thoughts from a Sh'antal, Jim; take care - it will not be as easy as you think."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Kirk protested.

Dark eyebrows soared. "Do not lie to me. I know every thought in your head," the Vulcan reminded him. "Consider. I know of the Tantalus field, and it will not operate against me - the first precaution I took after your counterpart's visit. You must therefore seek allies, Jim, and who can you trust? Only Sulu is powerful enough to help you, and he covets your position. I think you will not dare to turn to him... And should you move against me alone, your fate would indeed be miserable. As you know, most of my operatives are Vulcans."

"So?"

"So if I die or disappear, Sadana will be given a certain tape - it contains my will. I have left you to him."

"You can't..."

"I can. You are property, to be sold, given away, or bequeathed at my pleasure. As a Sh'antal you have no rights - and I do not think Sulu will defend you when Sadana claims his legacy. I know my men well; Sadana will use you for himself, perhaps share you with my other operatives... then, when he tires of you, will sell you to a House of Pleasure. Consider well, Jim; you loathe being my slave, how will you feel working as a paid whore? Can you imagine receiving men you have commanded as... clients? Chekov, I aim sure, would relish the opportunity to purchase your body for an hour... he has not forgotten the agony booth."

"That wasn't me!" Kirk growled.

"He believes that it was. Do you really think you can convince him otherwise? Face it Jim. If you wish to retain your command - you must remain silent and rely on my loyalty."

"Your loyalty." Kirk laughed harshly. "You've shown me what that's worth... _master_."

Spock looked at him consideringly. "I have never lied to you. I told you once that I did not seek command - that has not changed. You are the finest Captain in Starfleet, and will remain so. I have ensured that your slavery is our secret; I will not interfere with any of your command decisions; on the Bridge I will serve you as I have always done before. We will be Captain and First Officer." Spock reached out and stroked Kirk's face, smiling as the Human jerked his head away. "However," he continued, "in the privacy of my quarters you will serve me... as you have now learned to do."

"You've got it all worked out, haven't you?" Kirk muttered angrily. "And what happens if you're killed through no fault of mine?"

The Vulcan shrugged, "You must take that chance. I would advise you to have some means of self-destruction to hand. The control I have over your mind will prevent you from using it whilst I am alive, and if you should kill me, the prohibition will. hold. It will be lifted only if you are innocent of my death."

"Bastard: I knew I was right not to let you bond us properly."

"If we had bonded, this would not have happened," Spock said, and it seemed to Kirk there was regret in his voice. "Your own mind is your jailer, Jim, and it could have made you happy...if you had only trusted me." Turning away, Spock headed for the door. "Come - I must bid farewell to my father."

***

Sarek was waiting in the study. He looked Lp as they entered. "My son, I have just received word from Starbaso 12. My agents there were successful - the woman is dead."

"Ruth? Dead? What have you done?" Kirk demanded.

"She was poisoned," Sarek answered with obvious satisfaction.

"That's barbaric! It wasn't her fault... She didn't know..."

"The woman dishonoured a warrior's bond - that she did so in ignorance is no excuse. A woman of that type cannot be trusted - she might well have boasted of her relationship with you, and brought disgrace to our house."

"But you said yourself, the whole Starbase knew of our affair!" Kirk snapped.

"True, but no Vulcan would believe a bonded male would break his vows. Since Spock continues to acknowledge you in public, it will be believed that you escorted her with his consent, and that the Human love of scandal has embellished the relationship. However, if she was to live and speak, she might have been able to prove her words and our house would have then been doubly shamed - first by your faithlessless, and then by our concealment of it.

"She had to die."

"Yes, it was necessary," Spock agreed. "And I assure you, father, my Sh'antal will have no opportunity to repeat his offence. Come James, we must return to the ship. Father, farewell."

Sarek's hand rose in salute. "Live long, my Son, and prosper."

***

As Spock had promised, Kirk's authority as Captain of the Enterprise was not undermined in any way. In public the Vulcan accorded him the deference he was used to, protecting him as before from the schemes of those who wished to take his place; and he improved the Tantalus Field, thus giving the Human an even greater control over his crew. The silent Vulcan operatives became Kirk's constant shadows, one of then even taking an assassin's knife intended for him. They were respectful, deferential... but Kirk shuddered inwardly each time he met Sadana's dark ayes, and remembered the power that this alien might one day have over him.

There was only one way in which Spock would publicly remind Kirk of his new position, and that was done so discreetly that no one would over notice. If the two went together for a meal, Kirk did not begin to eat until Spock touched his plate. A reminder of the fact that a Sh'antal was not permitted to eat until his master gave permission.

***

As time passed, Kirk relaxed slightly, reassured that at least his command was secure. Even the ambitious Sulu seemed to have accepted at last that Kirk, guarded by the Vulcans, was in an impregnable position, though he still watched the Captain resentfully, ready to seize any opportunity offered to him; Spock reported that Sulu and Chekov had formed an uneasy alliance, but that his agents were keeping a close watch on them

***

As the mission progressed Kirk realised that Spock was scrupulously keeping his word not to interfere in any way with his running of the Enterprise. When they were required to pay courtesy visits to the Vulcan Embassies on planets they contacted, Kirk was treated in every way as the Captain, and as the bondmate of one of Vulcan's leading citizens. Even the Ambassador on Starbase 12 showed no difference in his attitude, although he must have been aware of the talk that was still going on, fanned to new heights by Ruth's mysterious death.

The reason for the stopover at Starbase 12 was to permit Kirk to attend a Conference called by the Imperial Governor of the area to discuss defences against the increasing Klingon raids. Kirk had a few ideas of his own, and voiced them. A little to his surprise, for from past experience he knew that the administrative branch of Starfleet tended to be resistant to new ideas, his suggestions were accepted, and he was commended for his grasp of the situation. Moreover, he was given a strong hint that the Admiralty would be taking an interest in his future career; this news, which would once have delighted him with its prospects for advancement, now left him slightly dismayed as he wondered how Spock would react. Would he permit his Sh'antal to accept promotion? For he was never allowed to forget that he was Spock's property. The Vulcan, so loyal, so formal on the Bridge, was, in private, a domineering master.

His watch over, Kirk would resign the con to his relief and take the turbolift to the rec room for a meal; he would then go to his quarters to shower and change for the evening. At that point Captain James T. Kirk of the I.S.S. Enterprise vanished as, dressed in the revealing silks of a pleasure slave, the Sh'antal James would enter the warm dimness of Spock's cabin to serve his master's pleasure.

Occasionally Spock would order a meal for then both in his quarters, and Kirk, naked, was ordered to feed his master bite by bite, his own share being handed to him to eat as best he could using only his fingers. If he dropped or spilled anything he was punished, and the Vulcan seemed to take a perverse delight in trying to distract his attention by intimate caresses.

From time to time, and he never knew when, Stock would give him drugged wine which acted as a powerful aphrodisiac, so that he begged shamelessly for the Vulcan's touch, abasing himself as he had never thought possible, so great was his need. Spock would caress his writhing body, goading him to a frenzy of lust, possessing him ruthlessly, but leaving the Human unsatisfied. Kirk was then forced to relieve himself manually, and Spock would link with him, sharing the fantasies conjured by the Human's mind... then re-enacting them with Kirk in the submissive role.

At last a time came when Spock conceived the idea of using Kirk's love of his ship to punish and humiliate him still further. He would accompany the Captain on his nightly tours of inspection; and seized every opportunity that arose to use him sexually. Once Kirk dared to protest at the danger of discovery, but the Vulcan only smiled.

"There is no risk," he said arrogantly, "I always know if anyone is nearby, and if we should be seen, I can erase the memory. This pleases me... it is my wish that in future, wherever you go on this ship, you will look around and remember how you 'served' me."

In Sickbay he stripped Kirk naked and possessed him in McCoy's presence, having first placed the surgeon in a trance so that he could watch, but not interfere. When he had finished, he released him, and enjoyed Kirk's humiliation as McCoy mocked him for his submissive response. Only when Kirk begged on his knees did he wipe the memory from the Doctor's mind.

In Engineering he pushed Kirk to his knees, and compelled the Human to suck him while Scott and two of his staff were working just on the other side of a dividing screen; they would have heard any sound, and if one of them had taken it into his head to move only a little to the side, he would have seen. Even the Bridge was not inviolate. During a training exercise, while the rest of the crew operated from the emergency control room, Kirk monitored the drill from his command chair. He managed to give his orders clearly, even despite the fact that Spock had bent him over the chair and was thrusting into him with brutal violence.

In his own quarters Kirk answered a call from Admiral Fitzgerald, who never know that the Captain of the Enterprise spoke to him while naked from the waist down and seated on Spock's lap, with the Vulcan's penis buried deep inside hiss.

The corridors, the turbolift, even the rec room soon held memories for Kirk.

But when he had covered the ship, Spock seemed satisfied, and thereafter confined their times of intimacy to his quarters.

However, the life he was forced to live began to have a curious effect on Kirk. It was as though he had become two separate people. Captain Kirk existed only on the Bridge, arrogant and commanding as ever... while at night, the Sh'antal emerged, docile, obedient. Neither dared to think of the other, for James feared Kirk's ungoverned temper, dreading that in his reckless mood he might anger the Vulcan and provoke some even worse punishment... while Kirk despised James for his very docility. Both knew that the situation could not continue indefinitely, but neither knew how to end it...

***

Several months after leaving Vulcan an order came from Starfleet attaching Spock temporarily to the Vulcan garrison on Halka. For the two men had indeed 'found a way' to save the Halkans, but the method would have horrified Kirk's gentle alternate.

The Halkans had much to give the Empire besides dilithium, and it would indeed, as Spock had persuaded his Captain, he wasteful to destroy them. Kirk's solution was simple. The Halkans might be prepared to commit racial suicide themselves. he reasoned, but they would not commit genocide.

The Altans, an innocent, harmless people of no value to the Empire, were ruthlessly conquered, and the Halkans presented with a brutal alternative - submit to the will of the Empire, or witness the destruction of the Altans; the Halkans submitted.

To oversee their obedience, a Vulcan governor had been installed, and because of his knowledge of the race, Spock was attached to his staff as temporary advisor while the Enterprise continued with her routine patrol.

Kirk received the news of the posting with annoyance at being deprived of his First Officer ... Sh'antal James was confused and bewildered by the prospect of a few weeks of comparative freedom...

***

The Enterprise hovered in orbit around Halka as Spock prepared to beam down. He was in his quarters packing, and Kirk, coming from the Bridge, joined him as he had been ordered to do the night before.

Dark, expressionless eyes surveyed the Human, and a cold voice ordered,"Strip!"

Kirk undressed slowly, and stood naked in the dimly lit sleeping cabin, wondering yet again why he had been ordered here. He shivered as the Vulcan reached out and traced the brand on his thigh with light fingers,

"When a master is forced to leave behind a valuable Sh'antal, he takes steps to protect his property," Spock began to explain quietly. "You have already proved that you cannot be trusted to remain chaste, and I have no wish to discover on my return that another has used your body." Fitting his fingers precisely to Kirk's face, he entered the defenceless mind, and as he continued to speak the mental control he exerted translated his words into an unbreakable... COMMAND.

"During my absence, you will be unable to achieve erection. No woman, or man, will succeed in arousing you, and masturbation will only be painful. I advise you not to attempt it for you will not achieve satisfaction. You will know sexual desire, but be unable to indulge in physical intimacy of any kind. It is also my intention that you experience sexual stimulation so that you will be ready for me on my return; to that end, you will wear this."

'This' was a blunt cone of smooth metal; Kirk looked at it for a moment, puzzled, then as he recognised its purpose he shrank back. "No, please... no..."

Without replying Spock seized him and bent him over the bed, spreading his buttocks apart so that he could push the cone into the Human's body; a circular plate prevented complete insertion, and some property in its manufacture kept it suctioned in position.

"It can of course be removed for hygienic purposes," Spock continued, unperturbed, "but you will be compelled to wear it at all other times, unless you should be called to Sickbay - you may then remove it for the duration of your examination. If for any reason you have no opportunity to do so, McCoy is already blocked against noticing it, and he alone will examine you. And one more thing..." Spock squeezed Kirk's buttocks, moulding them around the firm insert. "At random intervals it will vibrate, providing the stimulation I spoke of. However, as I have already said, you will not be able to masturbate, you will simply have to await my return with what patience you can muster."

"You've got me just where you want me, haven't you?" Kirk said resentfully as he straightened up, very much aware of the object within his body.

"Not quite." The Vulcan looked almost amused. "I have left you the use of your mouth."

For a moment Kirk stared at him uncomprehendingly, then colour flooded his face as he realised what Spock was implying. "Christ, you think, after what you've done to me... that I'd want to... to suck another man?"

The Vulcan shrugged eloquently. "As I said, a wanton slave cannot be trusted. On Vulcan I would have had your jaws wired together, but that would not be practicable here... and I do not think that you will avail yourself of the opportunity. You may dress now."

As Spock finished his packing Kirk struggled back into his clothes, looking in the mirror to assure himself that the cone did not show.

"It may cause you discomfort at first, but there will be no pain," Spock told him. "Now, my Sh'antal, kiss me farewell. Then Captain Kirk may accompany his First Officer to the transporter."

***

When Kirk carne off duty that evening he lingered over his meal in the rec. room. He had expected to enjoy his first evening of freedom, but now that it was here he felt curiously flat. There was nothing he wanted to do, and no one, he realised, who would welcome his company.

Only Spock had done that... but that was before...

With a muffled curse he crushed the thought and called for another drink - he wouldn't give in to mawkish sentimentality. No use dreaming of what was, what might have been - better to think of some way out of the humiliating situation in which he was trapped.

For a time he sat brooding over his drink, his mind drifting into fantasies of gaining his freedom, and of the punishment he would devise for Spock when he did. He was so absorbed that he was startled when a voice spoke beside him.

"Hi, Jim. Mind if I sit down?"

"Huh? Oh, hi, Bones."

McCoy took the chair across the table, rested his chin on his hands, and gazed at his Captain. "Penny for then?"

"Nothing important," Kirk shrugged. Centuries ago, it seemed, McCoy had been the closest thing he had to a friend; somehow, since that disturbing experience in the other universe, the Doctor's cynicism and world weariness grated on him. For a moment he thought longingly of what Spock had told him of the other McCoy, of the sincere gentleness of the man. That's what he needed right now, he thought, a trusted friend to confide in, to pour out all his shame and horror. He shuddered, imagining this McCoy's reaction; remembering his taunts after Spock's cruel demonstration in Sickbay. No, there would be no comfort here... He drained his glass, aware that the Doctor was speaking again,

"...and I'm just killing time. Actually, I'm waiting for someone, an old friend of yours."

"Oh?" Kirk tried to look interested. "Who might that be?"

"Marlena Moreau. I'm taking her to dinner."

"Marlena? What's she doing on board?" Kirk's former mistress had transferred off the ship shortly after the first Halkan encounter, for he had quickly tired of her, and her pride would not allow her to remain. As a precaution, so that she might not use what she had learned against the lover who had cast her off, Spock had wiped her mind clear of all knowledge of the alternate universe, and of the Tantalus Field. He had done it so thoroughly that not even Starfleet's most sophisticated equipment would have been able to reconstruct the memory.

"We're transporting some of the staff from Halka - and she's been working there," McCoy reminded him. "They'll be transferred to the Potemkin when we rendezvous with her. Ah; here's Marlena now." 

Kirk looked up as the woman got to their table. "Marlena. I didn't expect to see you again."

"Not sorry, are you?" She laughed challengingly:.

"Of course not. You're as beautiful as ever." Fur a moment there was a note of regret in his voice as he remembered the days - and nights - they had shared.

Marlena smiled as McCoy, rose and took her arm. "Why don't you join us for dinner?"

For a minute he was tempted; then over McCoy's shoulder he met the dark eyes of Sadana, who was watching him intently. He forced a smile. "Not this time. I've already eaten, and I must catch up with some work." 

"Pity," she said regretfully, and turned away with McCoy. "Perhaps I'll see you later, Jim."

***

Returning to his cabin Kirk buried himself in the paperwork that awaited him, thankful for the distraction. He refused to admit that he was missing Spock already, telling himself that he was thinking of the Vulcan only because he was afraid something might happen to him so that he, Kirk, might become the property of Sadana.

Suddenly he jerked upright in his chair as a slow gentle throbbing began deep within his body. He was startled for a moment, then realised that the device Spock had implanted had begun its random vibration. It was a most curious sensation, stimulating his nerves, but producing no arousal. He gritted his teeth, enduring the torment. He had already discovered that he could handle his genitals when washing, but a cautious attempt at masturbation had produced the pain Spock had warned him to expect.

At last the throbbing ceased, and he turned back to his work, only to throw down his stylus in exasperation as a buzz at the door interrupted him. He hit the button to open it, and Marlena smiled at him.

"Hi, Jim. I said I'd see you later," she purred, stepping uninvited into his cabin.

"Where's McCoy? I thought you were with him?"

"Drunk, as usual, and useless." She stopped closer, winding her arms around his neck. "So I thought how nice it would be to... recapture old times. You were a marvellous lover Jim - the best I've ever had." Kirk's mouth was dry with fear. She might have been seen coming to his quarters... Sadana would report to Spock... He had to get rid of her. Quickly he pushed her away.

"It's over, Marlena. We had some good times, sure, but we agreed to call it a day. Let's leave it like that, huh?"

Marlena's eyebrows rose in surprise. "Jim Kirk turning down sex? I never thought I'd see that." Her eyes narrowed. "You're waiting for someone - that's it, isn't it? Who is she? Chris Chapel? No. She's too milk-and-water for you. Is it Uhura?"

"It's no one you know," Kirk muttered in reply.

She laughed suddenly. "Who cares anyway? You're the Captain, you can do what you like. Give her a miss for tonight, and let's have one last night to remember."

"I..." Kirk closed his eyes in relief as the intercom called for his attention. "Excuse me... Kirk here."

"Scott here, Captain. Can ye come down tan Engineering for a minute? We've a wee problem that'll need your advice."

"I'm on my way, Kirk out." He snapped off the switch. "Sorry Marlena - you know how it is."

"I really should do by now," she sighed, following him into the corridor. "You sere always having to rush off just when things were getting interesting. See you tomorrow?"

"Of course." _But not if I can help it,_ he added mentally as he watched her out of sight. He would have to find a way of avoiding her as long as she remained on the ship, but Scott had given him some time.

The problem in Engineering was soon solved, and he gave his orders tersely, then returned to his cabin, wearily longing to sleep. He showered, removing the cone, but conscious of the compulsion to reinsert it before he left the bathroom. Damn Spock and his sadistic games; if he was this bad after one day, how would he be by the time the Vulcan returned? Frustrated and angry, Kirk swallowed a sleeping pill and rolled into bed, dimming the lights of his cabin.

***

In dreams all things are permitted - and possible. A deeply-hidden, unacknowledged part of Kirk's mind shook off its chains and revelled in its freedom. Fantasies indeed, but not the raw, crude, sexual conjurings of his waking hours. A hesitant, love-starved creature drank its fill, nestled in the warmth of the belonging it so craved, but which it was forever denied,

Kirk was held securely in Spock's arms, the Vulcan's lips caressing his face with dreamy tenderness. Firm yet gentle hands stroked his body, each touch producing a shiver of exquisite delight. He moaned softly in his sleep, his head tossing on the pillow as he revelled in the love that surrounded him, his starved heart melting to the devotion in the quiet voice that murmured his name. He pressed himself closer, longing to merge with that strength, become part of that warmth. It was so gentle, so tender, and tears glittered on his checks in sorrow that this was not real, never would be again.

Firm hands touched him, sliding down his chest, creeping lower until they grasped his maleness, and he shifted uneasily at their touch. The mouth returned to his, and everything was changed. The lips were soft and fleshy, not the firm ones he knew; the tongue probing into his mouth tasted... different, somehow - it was as though he had reached for life-giving water and had been given poison to drink. It was... wrong, dangerous, and... He was threatened, endangered by something so hideously wrong that he knew the meaning of stark terror.

Gasping as fear and rage filled him, with a cry of revulsion he started up in the bed, his hands reaching blindly to tear the head away... His fingers closed around flesh, digging deep, deeper... the body in his hands struggled feebly, then sagged heavily against his arms. Gradually the cloud of anger cleared from his mind, and he looked at Marlena's face, ugly in death, her eyes bulging, her tongue protruding between swollen lips... He had strangled her!

Stunned, Kirk stared blankly, trembling with reaction. She must have come back, hoping to seduce him into changing his mind, and he had acted instinctively... _Instinctively_? What did that prove? He pushed the thought away to consider later, there was too much to do now. Somehow he must dispose of her body... but how? The Tantalus field would not work in his quarters, or Spock's, and it was dangerous to risk moving the body... If Sadana found out...

Sadana. Of course, that was the answer...

Hurriedly Kirk dressed, went into the day cabin, and called Uhura. "Locate Lieutenant Sadana, and have him report to my quarters at once."

"Aye, Sir,"

Kirk had regained a measure of calm by the time the door buzzer sounded. Taking a deep breath he snapped, "Come!" and forced himself to meet the expressionless eyes as the Vulcan stepped into the room.

"Sit down, Lieutenant. This is a... personal matter."

"Sir?" The cold eyes hold only polite enquiry.

"You are aware of course that I am bonded to Commander Spock?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Something happened tonight, and I need your help. Spock told me I could rely on you." Kirk looked away, grateful for the Vulcan reticence that would prevent Sadana from asking for details - it was enough for him to know that his Lord's mate demanded his service. "Before I bonded with the Commander, Lt. Moreau was my mistress," Kirk continued. "She apparently... she wished to... renew the relationship. Tonight she came to my quarters. I was asleep, and she... touched me. I only half woke, and didn't realise... When I did, she was dead."

Sadana showed no emotion. "You reacted instinctively to an attempt to violate your bond. I understand. Do you wish me to dispose of the body?"

"Yes... thank you..." Kirk said gratefully.

"I suggest, Sir, that you wait in Commander Spock's quarters. I will report to you there."

"Very well." Kirk left his quarters by the main door, unwilling to go through the sleeping compartment and see the body again. He paced nervously in the dimly-lit cabin next door, wondering how Sadana would explain Marlena's death,

"It was her own fault, the stupid bitch! Why the hell couldn't she have woken me? I'd never have done it if I'd known who it was," Kirk muttered, denying the instinctive revulsion he had felt at her touch, and the implications of that reaction. "It was the surprise... nothing more:!" 

A buzz at the door broke into his thoughts, and Sadana stepped inside. "Sir, I have removed the body to the lower levels," the Vulcan reported. "The maintenance crew will find it in the morning."

"Sulu will insist on an enquiry. I'd rather no-one knew..."

"I thought of that, Sir. It will appear that she was killed whilst resisting, an attempted rape. The man of course will not be found, and I think that Mr. Sulu will not pursue the investigation too closely."

"Thank you, Mr. Sadana." Kirk nodded dismissal. "I will tell Commander Spock of your assistance."

"I come to serve, Captain," the Vulcan replied formally.

***

The following day a severe Ion storm kept Kirk on the Bridge long past his normal watch. He was far too concerned with the safety of his ship to worry about anything also. Sulu's investigation, and his own physical discomfort, just didn't exist. Red-eyed and weary he stumbled from the Bridge once the danger was past, and flung himself down on the bed in his cabin, where he slept fully dressed until the computer alarm woke him to a new day.

The Security Report was awaiting him when he returned to the Bridge. As Sadana had predicted, Sulu had logged the death as the result of an attempted rape - Marlena was simply not important enough to warrant an intensive investigation. Kirk signed the report, his only feeling one of relief, and pushed the death to the back of his mind.

After transferring the rest of the passengers to the Potemkin, the mission continued smoothly; the Enterprise moved out to patrol the Romulan Neutral Zone, visiting those planets which lay closest to the Romulan sphere of interest and reminding their inhabitants by her presence that the Empire held fast to what it owned.

It was the type of mission Kirk most disliked; especially now, for he had too much time to think. He continued to use his own quarters, at first relishing the freedom to do so, but there was something missing. The rooms wore sterile, empty - and his bed had never seemed so cold. Always a sensual man, Kirk had become accustomed to sleeping in Spock's arms, and he missed the warmth of the Vulcan's body pressed to his. Even after he was Sh'antal Spock had slept with him at night, and Kirk found that the lonely, dream-haunted nights were very long. He always slept soundly with Spock; and if he did wake in the night there had always been the reassurance of the quietly-breathing body next to his, and the security of strong arms that held him. Even after their relationship had changed, still there had been the comfort of knowing that he was wanted, that Spock would keep him safe from anything or anyone else.

And... with some shame, he knew that he missed the physical sensations Spock could inflict on him. In fact, since their return to the Enterprise, the Vulcan had habitually employed a technique that until then he had only used in pon farr. After climaxing within the Human, he would remain inserted, his distended penis locked rigidly into Kirk's body as only a Vulcan's could. For the first few nights, it had been extremely uncomfortable, but Kirk had quickly learned to adapt to the Vulcan's weight, his body accepting and enfolding in a submissive embrace. Spock had always wanted him, and the certainty of that was a consolation of sorts. He missed the proof of that desire.

***

One night, nearly six weeks after leaving Halka, Kirk was woken from a restless sleep by the now familiar throbbing deep inside him. He lay enduring the torment in silence, his whole body aching with his need, wild fantasies filling his mind as he tossed and turned in frustration. At last it ended, but he knew he would not sleep again that night. Wearily he got up, pacing his cabin restlessly while chaotic thoughts tumbled through his mind. Needing to do something, anything, to occupy himself; he went through the bathroom into Spock's quarters and roamed idly, touching each familiar possession, until his wandering brought him at last to the bed. He sat down, looking around, his memory painting in vivid detail the first night he had spent here, and the passionate joy he found. Foolish to think such happiness could possibly last...

More for the sake of something to do than for any other reason, he began to explore the contents of the bedside locker. A box of polished wood aroused his curiosity, and he lifted it out and opened it.

A tri-di cube containing his own laughing image; the rings he had exchanged with Spock to mark their supposed bonding - the Vulcan had torn his from his finger the day they returned to the ship; a strand of bright hair - now how had Spock obtained that? A few tapes - which instinct told him were message tapes he had sent to Spock. Finally, at the very bottom, a small bundle carefully wrapped in cloth. Kirk lifted it out, knowing by its weight what it must be. With shaking hands he unwrapped it, and sat looking at the carving in his lap.

It was his own figure, nude, hands held out in welcome, head thrown back as his hair streamed in the wind. Kirk remembered the day that it had been carved as his birthday gift to Spock. Thunaka, the brilliant Andorian sculptor, had agreed to accept the commission, only because he could not resist the beauty of the model. Spock had been present during the sitting, for even then, Kirk had known of, and thrilled to, his lover's possessiveness. Thunaka had handed over the carving reluctantly - he had wished to exhibit the work, but Spock would not permit it - and when they were alone, Kirk had given it to him, than stripped naked as the Vulcan examined its exquisite detail. At last Spock had looked up, his ayes at once comparing the cool stone with the warm, living reality. He smiled, touched the carving with his lips, than set it down carefully on the shelf over the bed and extended his hand to Kirk. Enfolded in that embrace, Kirk had known pure happiness, a mellow sense of fulfilment he had never imagined he could experience, a sense of such utter belonging that he had begun to think of Spock as a part of himself,

He had thrown all that away, carelessly, for a few nights with a woman who mattered so little to him that he could not even recall where he had first met her all those years ago. Her obvious interest in him had flattered his male vanity, and her response to his love-making had reassured him that even after his experiences with a male lover, he could still satisfy one of the most renowned whores in the Empire.

At that moment the realisation of what he had lost filled Kirk with an aching bitterness. Tears stung his eyes, and he threw himself face-down on Spock's bed, gripped in an agony of useless regret - he was Sh'antal... desired but unloved - valued but despised... And he was a fool!

***

The days and weeks slipped slowly past as Kirk came gradually to a partial acceptance of what he now was. One thing he understood clearly - Spock might have rejected him, but he still loved Spock. He had already won the Vulcan's love once... perhaps he could do so again. He would certainly try.

At last, the patrol completed, the Enterprise turned once more for Halka. Kirk, sitting in the command chair, felt his stomach lurch in anticipation as Uhura announced contact with the garrison. Scott broke in to request permission to remain in orbit for a time - one of the engines had shown signs of malfunction, and he wanted to check it out. Kirk agreed hastily, as he left the bridge heading for the transporter room.

Spock raised an eyebrow in surprise as he noted his Captain's presence, but responded formally to his greeting. Kyle was too intent on his controls to spare any attention for the two men as they left together and headed for the turbolift.

In the privacy of the car Kirk glanced at his First Officer. "How are things Spock? Did it..."

He broke off as he was pulled into a crushing embrace. Spock's lean fingers gripped his chin, forcing his mouth open as his lips were taken in a bruising kiss. He gasped as Spock backed him up against the wall, holding him there with the pressure of his body, whilst his hands slid inside his shirt, pinching the small nipples erect.

"So, you hunger for me," the Vulcan said thickly, raising his head at last. He slipped one hand inside the firm waistband of Kirk's trousers, forcing it down until his fingers tangled in the crisp curls of hair.

"You couldn't wait, could you, my little slave?" His mouth descended again, his tongue forcing its way between the human's lips.

The car slowed, and he reached out to press the door control, holding it shut. "I will join you on the Bridge soon," he said. "When your watch is over, go to my quarters and prepare yourself to receive me."

as he spoke he was pulling Kirk's uniform straight; he released the door and stepped into the corridor without another glance at his Captain. Kirk watched until he was out of sight, then took a deep breath and commanded unsteadily. "Bridge."

***

Spock pressed the final sequence of controls, studied the screen, and nodded in satisfaction - his calculations had worked out - as he had expected. He cleared the board and glanced over his shoulder, summoning Chekov.

"Mr. Chekov, you will work an that report I gave you during your watch. I will expect your observations in the morning."

"Aye, Sir." The young Russian slipped into his vacant seat, and Spock walked over to the turbolift which Uhura was holding for him.

Behind his expressionless facade the Vulcan was aware of a deep anticipation - at last he was free to go to Kirk. Sadana's report had been disturbing, but interesting... he was not quite sure what to make of it.

His mind was a turmoil of wild, conflicting emotions, but he used the respite to gather them firmly under control, aware that Uhura could see nothing unusual in his manner. All he need do was - somehow - get through tonight; tomorrow would come quickly enough.

The door to his quarters slid open for him, and he stepped through into tho familiar rooms, crossing at once to pass behind the screen that divided off the sleeping quarters. For a moment he stood, his eyes absorbing the scene, his body reacting instinctively to the atmosphere.

A low table had been pulled up before a bank of floor cushions and set with a meal kept waiting on a hotplate. A flagon of wine stood ready, ice cold moisture beading its sides. It might have been a scene lifted directly from the private quarters of a warrior of the pre-reform era. The lamps were lit, shedding a soft glow much more restful than the harsh cold lighting of the day cabin; the firepot flickered, emitting the faint odour of incense...

And, above all, there was the Sh'antal. Kirk, dressed in one of the brief tunics Spock had given him, came to stand before him, ducking his head in greeting. Without a word, Kirk reached up and began to unfasten the Vulcan's tunic; as it swung open he unwound and removed the black scarf, then begun to draw the Vulcan with him towards the bathroom.

Surprised and puzzled, Spock followed his lead. He had not been sure how he had expected to be greeted, but it was certainly not like this. Kirk was behaving in textbook type fashion for a Sh'antal, and that was something he had definitely not anticipated from the proud, stubborn Human.

Deciding to go along with Kirk for the moment, Spock permitted the Human to finish undressing him and lead him under the shower. He was washed carefully, then enfolded in a soft towel. Kirk moved out of sight, to return moments later carrying a casual Vulcan lounging robe. He then dried Spock, and assisted him into it, then quickly changed his own wet tunic.

Still without speaking, Kirk led Spock to the cushions, and kneeling by the table began to serve his meal. Spock watched him curiously as he ate, but the golden eyes remained lowered, and he could gain no clue to his thoughts. When Spock indicated that he had eaten enough Kirk poured wine and set the flagon on the floor close to his hand. He then cleared away the dishes, pulled the table back against the wall, and returned to kneel at Spock's side.

Spock sipped his wine, his eyes fixed on Kirk's bent head. Curious, he reached out and lifted the Human's chin, gazing into the wide eyes. Kirk looked back at him calmly - he seemed unafraid - and Spock wondered why. With a muffled exclamation he set down his goblet and grabbed Kirk's arms, pulling him close and bending his head to take the upraised mouth with his own.

Kirk's lips trembled, then slowly parted, and he relaxed in Spock's arms, allowing his weight to rest against the Vulcan as he submitted to the fiercely possessive kiss. Submitted... and responded, Spock realised dazedly. He thrust his tongue deeper into the willing, mouth, only drawing back when he sensed that Kirk was choking for breath. The human gulped in air, then looked up and offered Spock a tentative smile.

Now completely bewildered and angry at his inability to understand Kirk's behaviour, Spock pulled him down onto the cushions, ruthlessly stripping off the thin tunic. Kirk lay naked, his eyes closed as Spock's hand moved all over the smooth skin. His hips lifted in invitation, and Spock laughed harshly.

"Your body betrays you," he taunted, fingering the erect nipples. "Even my bed is preferable to one unshared. You were always a wanton, now you think to try your tricks on me. Let me see what these weeks of abstinence have taught you, my Sh'antal."

Suddenly entwining his hand in Kirk's hair, Spock pressed the Human's face into his groin. "Suck me," he growled. "Make me hard if you wish to feel me within you."

Kirk parted his lips, one hand supporting the flaccid organ as he raised it to his mouth. He took the head in, licking at it with a cool, silky tongue. The Vulcan gasped with pleasure, and Kirk slowly began to nibble up the length, his tongue flickering delicately as he took the hardening flesh deeper into his throat. Expertly, Kirk prolonged the exquisite pleasure, sucking until Spock was on the verge of orgasm, then stopping suddenly until the need abated slightly.

Spock had fully intended to take the Human, but this pleasure was irresistible. He caught Kirk's head between his hands, holding and forcing him down, whilst his hips rose, thrusting powerfully into the cool haven of Kirk's mouth. He knew he must be hurting Kirk, as he slid deep into his throat, but it was impossible to stop, and the Human showed no desire to struggle, adapting himself to the rhythm as he took each stroke of the powerful organ even deeper. At last Spock stiffened in climax, his ejaculation filling the Human's mouth and throat; Kirk swallowed quickly, his tongue coiling round the shaft as he licked the last drops. With a sigh of ecstasy the Vulcan pulled back, his hands idly stroking the fair hair as Kirk rested his flushed face on his stomach.

Incredibly, the Human was smiling contentedly. Spock rolled over, pushing Kirk onto his back, and lay looking down at him, his expression one of surprised disbelief.

"You appear to have decided to serve me with enthusiasm," The Vulcan said at last. "I wonder why?"

Kirk lowered his eyes, but made no reply.

"Answer me." the Vulcan commanded.

"It's what you wanted, isn't it?" Kirk looked up, but for once Spock was unable to read his expression. "Don't tell me you're confused, Spock. You've always claimed you could read me like a book. You once said I could turn any situation to my own advantage - perhaps that's what I'm doing now, making the best of something I can't change."

"Perhaps." Spock accepted the answer for the moment, but he knew there was more. This was not his wilful, defiant Captain. Nor was it the resentful, submissive Sh'antal. "If so, we shall see just how far you are prepared to go."

He rolled Kirk onto his side once more, reaching between his buttocks to extract the metal cone. It glinted in his hand, still warm from the Human's body. Kirk squirmed around to look at it curiously and resentfully.

"How did it feel?" Spock asked. "What was it like to have this inside you?" As he spoke he rested his fingers against Kirk's temple, touching him just lightly enough to be aware if he lied.

Knowing that, Kirk shivered. "It was... uncomfortable," he said slowly, "but exciting, somehow... I felt that I belonged completely to you. You'd placed it there, and only you could remove it. The compulsion you set in my mind was so strong that when I took it out, even at the times you said I could... it felt as though I was in some sort of danger until I could put it back again. And then..."

"Go on," Spock prompted as Kirk faltered.

"...when I was on the Bridge with nothing much happening, and it started to vibrate, I felt the friction inside me and I remembered... what it was like... when you took me. I wanted you, I wanted your lovemaking, and you weren't there..."

"I am here now," Spock remarked as he pushed the Human onto his hands and knees, spreading his buttocks to examine him carefully, probing into his body. Kirk squirmed at the touch, pressing himself back onto the fingers, and Spock withdrew.

"Excellent - you are undamaged. You are a little dry however - I think that this time I will use some cream."

He reached over to the bedside cabinet and took out a tube of the lubricant he had used on Kirk in the beginning. Spreading the Human's buttocks again he inserted the nozzle and squeezed; Kirk gasped and bucked as the smooth silky cream squirted into him. Spock's hand closed around his penis, and at his master's touch it swelled into pulsing, eager life.

"You do seem in need of release my slave," Spock murmured, drawing his long fingers from the root to the throbbing head. "Will you beg for it?"

"You know I'll do anything," Kirk panted, grinding his buttocks into Spock' s groin. "I want you to take me, I want to feel you inside me. I want you to make me come. Please... this is agony!"

"So Captain Kirk begs at last," Spock said, and Kirk had the strangest feeling that his voice sounded faintly wistful. It hardened however as the Vulcan continued, "Such an unusual 'humility' should be rewarded. I will take you now."

Kirk lay back, his legs open and bent, but Spock shook his head. "Not like that Sh'antal. This time - you will do it all. Prove to me how much you desire me, take me into your body."

Kirk knelt up as Spock lay back and he straddled the Vulcan's thighs. He bent his head for a moment to suck the swelling penis to complete erection, then took it into his hand. Raising himself, he reached between his legs, fitting the twin-ridged head to his anal opening. There was extreme pain as his muscles tightened, instinctively resisting the difficult insertion, and Kirk maintained a precarious balance as he reached round with both hands to pull his flesh apart. The head entered him and the lubricant smoothed its path as Kirk bore down, his weight forcing the very deepest possible penetration.

For a moment he remained still, savouring the anticipation; his own shaft resting on Spock's body was engorged, aching. He moaned as Spock fingered his nipples, the fire spreading across his chest at the touch of the Vulcan's hand.

"Please, Spock," he whispered, catching at the Vulcan's hand and guiding it to his groin. "Milk me ... make me come."

The Vulcan pulled his hand away. "First, finish what you have started," he said thickly. "It is the duty of a Sh'antal to pleasure his master, not to think of his own satisfaction. I will attend to you later."

Kirk began to move his body on Spock's, raising himself up, and allowing himself to sink down, whilst his muscles contracted and then relaxed, caressing the impaling organ. The Vulcan gave him no help, lying perfectly still as he watched with detached curiosity. Only his hands moved, pinching and pulling at the Human's tender nipples.

Kirk's movements grew faster, more urgent as he felt the penis quiver inside him; he licked his lips and bore down as hard as he could, then gasped with relief as the spasms of orgasm pounded into his flesh and the thick hot stickiness of Spock's semen filled him.

As soon as the orgasm subsided, Kirk lifted himself off the lean body, pressing himself against the Vulcan. "Now, please," he moaned, his voice hoarse with need. "You promised... please."

The Vulcan growled in answer and turned the human onto his back, bending his legs back towards his chest. Automatically Kirk caught his knees, exposing himself as the Vulcan lunged brutally into him. He shivered in anticipation as Spock's belly ground against his penis, sure that the friction would bring him to climax - but one long hand slid between their bodies, finding the nerves that controlled his erection. Spock had often tormented him with this before, and Kirk knew only too well that the pressure would effectively prevent him from achieving release.

Spock was thrusting into him, each stroke a hammer-blow driving deep into his bruised flesh; the dark head lowered to his chest, a mouth fastened onto his nipples; and Kirk moaned in fascinated horror as Spock began to suck at him,

Kirk's body was a mass of pain, and yet he sensed the pleasure that would still be his, even in this savage coupling, if Spock only willed it so. Their love-making had often been wild, abandoned, sometimes even painful, but until he had forfeited all his rights by his infidelity, both had enjoyed such uninhibited love-play,

At last Spock climaxed again, but instead of withdrawing, he remained within Kirk, his hands squeezing the soft mounds of his buttocks. "You bastard." Kirk groaned. "You promised..."

He broke off as Spock's intercom buzzed, the lights flashing Kirk's code; Spock had adjusted the intercoms in their respective cabins so that either of them could answer a call wherever they were.

"You had better answer it," Spock said lazily, pulling out of Kirk's body.

Tho Human stumbled across the room, and pressed the audio key. "Kirk here."

Uhura's voice answered him. "You're needed on the Bridge, Captain. A message from Starfleet - Admiral Gorman. It's urgent, sir."

"On my way." Kirk snapped off the intercom, and looked at Spock. "I have to go," he said wretchedly.

"Indeed." The Vulcan rolled over and looked at him. "It would not do for the pride of Starfleet to keep Admiral Gorman waiting. I will not expect you again tonight. The Admiral has a tendency to prolong a short discussion into a 'marathon'. You may retire to your own quarters when you have finished. Now go."

"Like this?" Kirk said bitterly, indicating his painfully swollen organ. "That'll give the crew something to talk about, won't it? There's no way I can hide that."

"Hmmm... The problem however, is easily solved." Spock rose and walked casually over to Kirk, studied him for a few moments, then picked him up and laid him on the desk top. The sleek head bent between his thighs, and the hotter than Human mouth fastened onto him, sucking with a strong steady rhythm. Kirk gave a scream, his hips arching upwards as he forced himself deeper into the wet mouth. So aroused was he already that his climax came within moments and his scream faded into a hoarse moaning as the exquisite tremors shook him.

Abruptly Spock drew away, and sighing with regret that it was over so quickly, Kirk rolled off the desk. As he stood up, his legs still shaking, Spock reappeared, holding a clean uniform.

Kirk took it silently and headed for the bathroom, but Spock stopped him before he could reach the door.

"Dress here."

"I need to shower..."

"No. I wish to know that as you sit on the Bridge your body still tingles from my touch; I want you to feel the stickiness on your thighs... and the pain of your nipples."

Kirk stared at him, then nodded obediently and began to dress, surprised when Spock helped him with his boots, then walked with him to the door, where he halted and took the Human in his arms, kissing him with a savage hunger.

"Now go, Captain," he said, releasing him and pressing the door catch. "Go from the arms of your master to the power of your command."

The door slid shut between them, and Kirk turned away, heading for the turbolift.

***

On the Bridge, Kirk shifted cautiously in his seat, taking care that the movement was not too obvious. Admiral Gorman's message had indeed been unimportant, a mere excuse to gain Kirk's opinion on a matter of Starfleet policy - yet another indication, Kirk thought sourly, of the regard in which he was held by the Admiralty.

That discussion had taken over an hour, and Kirk had used the opportunity to his own advantage, but since then the Admiral had droned on and on about one of his pet theories. Kirk had heard the same argument many times, and could have recited the speech by heart. Composing his face to an expression of polite interest, Kirk allowed his mind to wander off on a train of fantasy, paying only enough attention to make the appropriate noises of agreement or commiseration.

/I wonder what you'd say, you old windbag,/ he mused, /if you knew what I was really thinking? That I can't wait for you to shut up so that I can go and get myself screwed by my First Officer./

But no, he remembered. Spock had finished with him for the night. Pity... He moved again, using the report he held as a cover whilst he eased the crotch of his trousers, which were damp from Spock's love making, and he could feel its slickness on his buttocks. As he rested his elbow on the chair, supporting his chin in his customary pose, his arm pressed against his tunic, so that the metallic gold threads touched his raw nipples. The sensation was quite pleasant, and he pressed harder, then stopped hastily as his organ began to stiffen in response. Suddenly he thought of the moist heat of the Vulcan's mouth sucking on him, and a smug satisfaction filled him. Spock had often performed oral sex on him, but never since he had been Sh'antal; perhaps the Vulcan intended to relax his harsh treatment?

At last German's long-winded recital ended, and the Admiral broke contact. Kirk sighed with relief, returned the con to Scott, and headed quickly for the turbolift. He was tempted to ignore the order he had been given and go to Spock, but decided that it was best to obey for the moment. If the Vulcan had missed him as much as he had missed the Vulcan, Spock would soon seek him out.

In his cabin he stripped, and sank into a chair to enjoy the freedom to masturbate, revelling in the long-denied sensations. After his second climax, however, he realised how tired he was, showered hurriedly, and climbed into bed.

He was quickly asleep, a deep, dreamless slumber from which he did not wake when the bathroom door slid open and a tall figure came through, to lean over the bed and gaze down into his face.

***

Kirk woke at his usual time the following morning and stretched luxuriously, wondering sleepily why he felt so relaxed and fulfilled. A memory stirred, and he slid his hands down to his buttocks, grinning as he remembered that the cone had at last been removed. He sat up, and as he moved something fell from his chest onto the bed; surprised, he picked up a small message tape. Attached to it was a note in Spock's writing; it said simply - "Jim, play this when you are alone."

A vague feeling of unease gripped Kirk. He slid out of bed and walked across to his desk. As he passed the mirror something unusual about his reflection caught his eye. He stopped, looked closer, and then realised that the collar had been removed from his neck.

Turning to the desk he sat down, slotted the tape into the viewer, and switched on.

The tape had obviously been recorded in Spock's quarters. The Vulcan stared out at him from the screen in silence for a few seconds, giving Kirk time to notice that his First Officer was wearing civilian clothes, and that despite his rigid control of his facial expression, his eyes were bleak with despair. At last, almost reluctantly, the Vulcan began to speak.

"Jim, this tape is the last contact you will ever receive from me. Listen well, for it explains much.

"When my father told me that you had betrayed your vows, I knew that you did not understand the gravity of your offence in Vulcan eyes. But I was so sure that it could be explained... I believed that my father had misinterpreted an association that, though indiscreet, was innocent.

"I awaited your arrival on Vulcan, certain that you would laugh and set all my tears to rest.

"Instead you admitted your guilt. Jim, can you ever understand the furies that possessed me? I think not... I loved and hated, desired and loathed you... and despised myself for my weakness.

"Sarek demanded your life as is the custom, but I could not bear to destroy you. My motives were... mixed; even yet I do not fully understand them. I wished to save your life, telling myself that it would be wasteful to destroy such beauty, and I shrank from the humiliation of admitting publicly that you had betrayed me; for a second time I had been dishonoured... this time by my chosen mate. Also I was ashamed and angry that I had given my... my love... to one who valued it so lightly. Death was too easy - I wanted to punish you and it came to me that slavery was the worst fate _you_ could imagine.

"And so I made you Sh'antal. I thought that if I abused you, humiliated you, treated you as you deserved, my unwanted love for you would also die, and I would be free of you. It did not. You still hold my heart, Jim, and you always will.

"My pain and anger gave me the strength to treat you as I did. In the first storm of rage I wanted only to crush you... destroy your manhood forever... but still keep you mine. Your body pleased me as it had always done. I made myself forgot that I had ever wanted your love,

"My determination pleased Sarek - it was at his suggestion that the family archives remained unaltered so that future generations should not learn of the stain on our honour.

We returned to the ship and I gloried in my possession of you. When I watched you on the Bridge it thrilled me to know that in a few hours you would lie whimpering in my bed. I _owned_ you - but always there was the need to prove that to myself... and to you. I raped your mind, the thing I knew you feared most, and to further convince myself how unworthy you were I forced you to re-live in fantasy all your past affairs.

"But... no one knew of my power and that irritated me. I conceived the idea of using my mental domination. Do you remember the night I took you to Sickbay and possessed you in McCoy's presence? I had thought to enjoy seeing his contempt for you, your shame as you writhed beneath the lash of his scorn... but I was sick with revulsion at his words.

"I thought - _what right has he to condemn you?_ And then, Jim, I realised that I had given him the right - _I_ had exposed you to his mockery. I hid my feelings well...

"And yet, you deserved to be despised - were you not a faithless wanton who had broken a most solemn oath? My mind whirled in confusion... I wanted to humiliate you, wanted to protect you... I felt I must be going mad!

"I... did not repeat the experiment with McCoy as I had intended, but to convince myself that I had not softened towards you, I continued to take risks, knowing as I did so that if we were discovered I would most probably destroy the one who witnessed your shame.

"The last time... when you spoke with Admiral Fitzgerald... you protested... but you obeyed. I was sure of you then. Until... that night, as you slept, you cried in my arms. You did not know for I did not permit you to wake. I held you, caressed you... and knew that whatever you had done, I still loved you. The... the games stopped then...

"I found myself wanting to. comfort you, to re-awaken the light that used to shine in your eyes sometimes when you looked at me, and I despised myself for my weakness - no Vulcan would feel compassion for a faithless bondmate, and so to convince myself that I was still my father's son I was very careful never to relax for an instant the harshness of my attitude.

"But you lured me more strongly than Vulcan... Could I deny my heritage for your sake? Already I questioned... and was not that in itself a denial?

"Ah, sorcerer, what magic you weave.

"When I received the posting to Halka, jealousy tormented me. I made sure that you could not seek another during my absence, but - there was also a plan of sorts in my mind. if I could make you miss me, long for my touch as you used to do, then perhaps... perhaps on my return I could win your love again. I thought... I hoped... that if you knew I still... cared, we might build something new out of the ashes of our love.

"On Halka I received the news that my parents are dead, killed in an accident. I should have felt sorrow - but all I knew was that with Sarek's death my obedience to him had also died. I could free you, and I realised we could again be bondmates... or as close to it as you would permit.

"For eight hours I faced the future with confidence, and then... and then I remembered exactly what I had done to you. I had destroyed the trust you had in me, made you crawl in submission, humiliated you in your own eyes... you could, and would, never again be able to look at me without fear and loathing!

"Free, you would seek revenge, and I have no wish to die by your hand.

"It came to me then to do it this way. To return, spend one last night of passion in your arms, then leave while you sleep.

"I am a coward, Jim - I confess it. I should wake you, tell you... but I dare not. Beloved, let my last memory of you be of your passion-sated face... I have always loved to watch you sleep. I could. not bear to see hatred in your eyes as I looked at you for the last time.

"There is so much pain in me... is this, then, grief? It is bitter indeed, and I know now it will never leave me. I am so tired... but I must hurry now, for it grows late, and I have not yet told you...

"You are free, Jim. As you slept I removed the slave collar from your neck, and McCoy will remove my brand from your thigh; when he sees it my mind command will come into effect - he will remove it, and not remember that he has done so.

"Do not fear Sadana - he knows nothing, and never will. He will serve you well, and will give his life for you.

"For myself... I will return to Vulcan, and resign my commission. My father's death is an acceptable reason. The Governor of Halka will make the necessary arrangements. You may always command the protection of Vulcan as my Bondmate, for I will never deny you. All I ask in return is that your future conduct be... discreet. If you cause a scandal, I may be unable to save you a second time.

"I will often think of you, for our time together was a joy to me - perhaps that is why your betrayal hurt so much. Did I ask too much of you? We were never truly bonded; if we had been, then perhaps you would not have needed... But speculation serves no useful purpose.

"Take your freedom, Jim, use it wisely. Farewell, beloved."

Kirk was surprised to realise that tears were streaming down his face as the tape ended. He froze the final shot of Spock and gazed at it for a long time, his mind in turmoil.

He was free. Spock was gone. Nothing could touch him now. His mind and his body were his own again. He was safe from Sarek's stern vengeance, Everything he wanted had been given to him.

Angrily Kirk rubbed at his eyes, brushing away the wetness. He pulled the tape out of the viewer, locked it in his safe, and began to pull on his boots.

***

Kirk materialised in the headquarters of the Governor of Halka and stalked up to the Vulcan aide on duty. "I wish to see Commander Spock."

The younger man hesitated. "The Commander is in retreat Sir. He specifically ordered..."

Kirk's eyes narrowed. "Do you deny me access to my bondmate?" he enquired icily,

"Indeed not Sir. I did not realise who you were... The Commander is occupying the guest quarters in the grounds. Shall I announce you?"

"Don't bother." Kirk turned on his heel and headed towards the small building in the distance, nervously wondering if he was doing the right thing. He had only one certainty - a search of Spock's quarters had revealed that although most of his possessions had been left behind, his harp and the carved figure of himself were missing.

The door of the guest house was unlocked, for it was unthinkable that a Vulcan would enter without permission. Kirk was no Vulcan, though and he no intention of alerting his quarry too soon. Stepping very quickly inside he followed the sound of a harp, which led him at last to a heavily curtained doorway. The thick soft carpet muffled the sound of his booted feet as he stepped forward and peered through a gap in the curtain.

The room beyond was quite sparsely furnished, the rich crimson draperies that hung down the walls turning it into a dimly-lit sanctuary. The leaping flames of the firepot sent shadows dancing and rippling across the swaying walls, and Kirk breathed in the faint spicy incense that seemed so much a part of every Vulcan dwelling. Directly in front of him was a low dais piled high with cushions; beside it a table held a large, beautifully fashioned IDIC set on a crystal base, as a focus for meditation.

The sole occupant of the room was not, however, wrapped in the tranquil peace of contemplation. Spock sat amid the cushions, his dark head bent over the harp as his fingers swept the strings, producing a sad sweet music that brought unbidden tears to Kirk's eyes.

He dashed them away angrily, aware of a sudden almost irresistible impulse to leave, to escape this man who had enslaved him. He was James T. Kirk, he reminded himself, he needed no one. He was totally self-sufficient. Perhaps it would be best to let Spock go, forget about him... with the thought in his mind he began to turn away.

Yes. Let him go. The future was waiting for him; he still had his command, a place of importance in the Empire... and... and he would be utterly alone! Feared and hated by those he commanded; respect and envy were cold companions - as he had learned long ago, in the days before Spock had loved him, before he was Sh'antal. Did he really want that back again? Was his pride so important?

The wave of emptiness that filled him gave him his answer. Kirk swung back, his hands reaching to part the curtains. Even as he took the first step into the room the music trembled into silence and Spock sat motionless on the dais, his harp laid aside, his dark eyes closed as his shoulders slumped in weary resignation.

Kirk raised his chin determinedly, Spock might still reject him, but by God he was going to fight! Lover, slave, Sh'antal - whatever Spock wanted. Just as long as he remained at his side!

The Vulcan did not move as Kirk walked soundlessly across the carpeted floor and dropped to his knees at his side. For a moment Kirk gazed into the lean face, wondering what he could possibly say, then sheer instinct took over and he reached for one of the long-fingered hands, carrying it to his lips to place a kiss in the warm palm.

Spock's eyes flew open and he snatched his hand away. Kirk smiled sadly, and lowered his head for a moment. "I am here to serve my Lord." He murmured the ritual words, as he'd been taught when Sh'antal.

Spock shook his head tiredly, his eyes never leaving the Human's face. "You should not have come."

"I had to. Please stay with me. I need you." He hesitated. "Spock, I'll be... whatever you decide... Your Sh'antal, if that's what you want; or just someone to serve your need now and again. Just don't go... please."

"I must return to Vulcan." Spock turned his head aside. "It gives me pain to look upon you. I will not endure it."

"And when your time comes, what'll you do then?" Kirk demanded. "You told me once that in all the Galaxy I was the only one you desired as mate. Who'll you turn to if I'm not there? Or Will you let yourself die in pOn farr just because I failed you?"

"I will not die," Spock answered distantly. "On Vulcan, certain healers are skilled. If the Bondmate is... unavailable... they can satisfy. I Will say you have been injured, that it would kill you to serve. It has happened many times... When I am in need I will seek out - "

"No!" All Kirk's hesitancy, his uncertainty, vanished in an instant, consumed in a searing wave of anger and jealousy that flamed through him. He caught Spock's arms and shook him violently. "NO! You're mine! Mine! I won't let anyone else touch you, I'll kill anyone who tries. I can give you anything... you... need... " His voice tailed off as he realised what he was saying, and his eyes widened as he gazed at the Vulcan.

"Ruth! Oh, my God.. This is what you felt when I broke my vows! You were angry and jealous and hurt, as I'm hurting now. Oh Spock! it' s a wonder you didn't kill me!"

"At last you understand." Spock's voice was infinitely sad. "I loved you, needed you, and I thought you needed me. But it was not enough, the love I could give you... you needed another." His voice faded wearily.

"Oh hell!" Kirk sat back on his heels. His bruising grip on Spock's arms relaxed, and he took one of the Vulcan's hands between his own, holding it to his cheek.

"How can I explain?" he murmured. "It was... I never meant to do it, or for it to happen, but I was unsure, even though I loved you. I was a little afraid too, I think. I'd never dreamed I could love anyone, let alone a man, and I used to wonder sometimes if it'd made me less than I had been, weakened me in some way. When you left me at the Starbase I missed you so much, and the intensity of my need scared the hell out of me. Ruth was there, she was _there_ , Spock, and she made it plain that she wanted me. I saw it as a chance to prove to myself that I was still a man. Oh, I went through the motions easily enough, but I felt - nothing. Poor Ruth, she taught me that my so-called 'image' didn't matter a damn beside the fact that I loved you. All I could think about when I was with her was how soon I would be able to get back home to you." His shoulders slumped. "But by then it was too late. Sarek knew it all, and he told you, and... "

"Jim... " Spock reached out with his free hand and gently touched his pale cheek, "Jim, it was not then that you were tired of me?"

"Christ No! Never that. I was just a stupid, posturing fool. But I never wanted to hurt you. I loved you too much. When you made me Sh'antal... then I wanted to hate you, for a while I convinced myself that I did; but I couldn't keep it up. I love you, Spock."

"Then perhaps... " Spock hesitated. "Since you love me still and I have never ceased to love you... if I return, perhaps we can rebuild what we had together before?"

"No, I don't think so." Kirk dew a deep breath, smiling shakily as he saw the pain in the dark eyes at his words. "I think we can have much more than that. You said it yourself, we weren't really bonded. I was scared stiff before, afraid of what... "

"Of what I might do to your mind?"

"That's what I told myself... but it was really, I was afraid that if you saw what I was really like deep down, you wouldn't want me any more," Kirk whispered painfully.

A hand touched his shoulder for a moment then withdrew. "I have always known what you are, Jim. I know where and what you came from, and how you fought your way to the stars. You are also a warrior, as I am, and your - ruthlessness - was necessary to your survival and success. I know, too, that you have often thought of your counterpart in the other universe, and wondered if I preferred him to you. Jim, gentleness is possible for him, he has never felt the shadow of the assassin. You need not have feared the touch of my mind, it would only have shown you how much... I care."

"I know that now," Kirk replied. "The melds you forced on me, even then you didn't hurt me. You used them to humiliate me. I can understand that, I think, and I glimpsed how at might have been between us." He paused and looked away for a moment. "Did Sadana tell you about Marlena?"

"He did. I am puzzled. Why did you kill her? It was not necessary, you could simply have sent her away."

"It's hard to explain." Kirk sighed, and ran his fingers through his fair hair. "It's part of what I'm trying to tell you. The night it happened, I... well, I was dreaming that you were making love to me - real love, the way you used to before. When I woke it was _her_ hands on my body, _her_ tongue in my mouth. I'd been attracted to her once, but then all felt was total revulsion. I don't even remember killing her - all I could think of was that I had to get her hands off me!"

Spock reached out and caught his chin, turning his head so that he could look into the hazel eyes. "Jim, this is indeed strange. Your reaction was that of a Vulcan resisting one who would violate a bond - yet we are not bonded." He drew in his breath sharply. "It may be that because our minds are so closely attuned, the forced melds affected you more deeply than I knew, causing you to react in that manner. Do not be worried I can sever..." He broke off in confusion, seeing that Kirk was shaking his head and smiling wistfully.

"But I don't want you to sever anything, Spock," he said quietly. "I told you that if you agreed to stay I'd serve you in whatever way you demanded, but what I want..." He paused, and reached up to gently trace the Vulcan's lips with an unsteady finger. "What I want is to bond with you."

"After what I...? You still trust me with so much?"

"With my body, my heart, and my mind. We failed once because I couldn't trust. Will you give me a second chance?"

For answer the Vulcan leaned forward and lightly touched his lips to the Human's. Kirk slid his arms around his lover's neck and parted his lips, luring the questing tongue into his mouth, sighing with pleasure at the familiar, spicy taste as the kiss deepened, lighting fires in his blood.

Reluctantly, Kirk pulled back a little. "Let's go to your room," he whispered.

Spock smiled and pushed him down onto the cushions, lying beside him. It is not necessary," he said, reaching for the fastening of Kirk's shirt. "It is known that I am in retreat, no one will intrude. I do not care to let go of you for the time it would take to reach the bedchamber. This room will serve."

"Here?" Kirk looked around uncertainty. "I know how important meditation is to you Spock. Are you sure you want...?"

"Nothing is as important as you," Spock told him, running a hand lightly over Kirk's chest, smiling as the firm nipples rose under his fingers. "Logic has its place, but cannot compete with the absolute reality of having you warm and eager in my arms."

Kirk merely chuckled, and reached under Spock's robe, running his hands over the warm flesh. "Eager indeed," he teased as his fingers traced Spock's swelling shaft. He stroked it gently, feeling it grow at his touch.

Spock shrugged off his robe and deftly stripped the Human, tossing the clothes into an untidy pile, then lay back, pulling Kirk on top. They kissed slowly, luxuriously savouring the taste of each other's mouth, then Kirk lifted his head.

"I want... " He hesitated, unused now to making demands.

"Yes, Jim?"

"Will you bond us, then make love to me? We had exciting sex together when I was Sh'antal, but it's been a long time since we made love. Will you do that?"

Spock leaned over Kirk, his fingers gently tracing; the human's features as he gazed deep into the now glowing golden eyes. Finding the contact points he pressed firmly, seeking the Human's mind and looking onto it eagerly.

Kirk waited in absolute trust, leaning closer as he offered himself to the meld. The long fingers were light on his face, and Spock's mind brushed his with shy hesitancy. Unsure how best to respond, the Human concentrated on projecting all his love and longing into a welcome. It was as though a long locked door into his heart was suddenly opened, and he stood aside, shyly welcoming a longed for part of himself home. His thoughts wore enfolded as the Vulcan entered his mind, and he relaxed under the tender touch. This was the joining they had known when they had touched minds briefly in the past.

Hungry for more, Kirk felt something give in his mind as a barrier dissolved at Spock's approach; there was no force, no compulsion, no pain. His own need and longing made it possible, and quietly, gently, without haste, Spock slipped through into the core of Kirk's being.

For an unmeasured time the Human simply revelled in the sensation of having Spock so close. Unashamed, eager, he opened his mind, revealing everything to the Vulcan, wanting to be known, then understood and accepted.

/So lonely you have been!/ the Vulcan marvelled. /Feared, desired, hated, admired... but always alone./

/I never dared to trust before,/ Kirk admitted. /Spock, this is what I am./

Spock surveyed the vulnerable, exposed mind, understanding at last why Kirk had defended his barriers so fiercely. A child of Earth's gutters, he had quickly realised while still very young that he must become predator or victim. Stubbornly he had fought his way to power in a society that respected only success, and had survived in the only way possible, by becoming even more ruthless than the enemies who would tear him from his place if they could.

So many of the memories were dark with grief and terror and blood. Spock ignored these for the moment, knowing that there would now be time to comfort and console. Instead he seized eagerly on the threads of gold that sparkled in the desolation. The wonder in the eyes of a child who reached for the stars with desperate hunger, the tears of loneliness that could never be allowed to fall, the compassion and gentleness crushed beneath the weight of a harsh necessity.

This was his Kirk, just as loving and vulnerable as his counterpart, but shaped by the reality that had bred him. The alternate imprisoned his wolf, this man kept his lamb carefully hidden.

And Spock loved him.

In response, the Vulcan deliberately opened his own mind, allowing Kirk to see those things he had never dared to show before. Son of a warrior race, but a dreamer, a musician, Spock had survived by a pretence as great as Kirk's. His fine mind had served him well, so that his numerous achievements brought him honour among his people, and in the Empire.

Dominant in Spock's mind was his love and loyalty for his Human Captain, a love which completely overshadowed the Empire, Starfleet, his family, Vulcan itself, and enabled him to accept the pitiful, stunted love which was all Kirk had offered in return. Granted the right to hold his Human, he had settled for that, not daring to hope for more. Kirk writhed in anguish at the reflection of the pain Spock had endured when that precious thing had been snatched from him by his bondmate's infidelity. For each tear of humiliation and outrage Kirk had shed, the Vulcan had wept blood, his sanity reeling at the pain of loss. Impulsively Kirk reached out, his own grief meeting Spock's. /I should have known... should have trusted./

In response, Spock's mind gathered him close. /We will heal each other,/ he promised. /T'hy'la, will you bond with me now?/

/I'm ready./ Kirk answered eagerly.

Their minds clung tightly, and from that joining a shimmering, delicate web was formed, as though meshed with thought, longing with longing, Fine though the threads were, they were unbreakable, deeply rooted within each mind so that no severance was possible. Now Kirk understood why bondmates died together. He welcomed the knowledge, certain now that Spock was his, as surely as he belonged to Spock. Friend, brother, lover - t'hy'la. At last he understood. Gradually the filaments of the web tightened, merged into a single shining strand that connected mind to mind, an indissoluble link   
that, however far it was stretched, would never break. With awe, Kirk became aware that even if the Galaxy separated them, that bond would instantly bring then together in full mental communion.

/My Father was wrong,/ Spock told him tenderly. /Your humanity, my human blood, make no difference, This link cannot be severed./

/I'm glad,/ Kirk responded. /Why didn't I believe you when you told me it would be like this? I've wasted so much time, hurt us both so much... and for nothing./

/Do not think of it. We have each other now, and nothing can take you from me./

/And you belong to me,/ Kirk stated emphatically, revelling in the luxury of knowing that for the first time he was absolutely necessary to the well-being of another. He settled himself at Spock's side, his head resting on the Vulcan's shoulder, and for a time they simply lay together, enjoying the contact of their minds and bodies.

Spock raised his hand to touch the fair hair spilling across his thin shoulder as he looked down into Kirk's open face, the lips curved in a smile of utter trust that he had never seen before. The glowing eyes were clear, unshielded, the hard edge of bitterness and suspicion, which had always marred their beauty, melted into the softness of complete trust. Unable to resist, he leaned down and touched his lips to the smile, feeling it broaden at his touch as Kirk's arms rose to encircle his neck. He pulled back slightly, watching the human so intently that Kirk coloured. 

"Hey, what is it?" he asked.

Spock shook his head in wonder. "I have always known how important the bond is to my people," he said quietly, "but until now I have never known why. Jim, have you ever been hungry? Really hungry - and craved for one special food?"

Kirk nodded, not understanding the reason for the question, and Spock continued. "Were you ever then given something else to eat, something which stilled the pans of hunter, but left you craving still?"

"I've known that, yes, but I... don't see what you mean." Kirk frowned.

Spock kissed the vertical lines between the curving eyebrows. "I loved and desired you for a long time, t'hy'la, longing for you with an intensity that was a physical hunger. You gave me your body and eased the pain, but still I hungered. I raped your mind, plundered your thoughts and memories to feed my lust, and still it was not enough. Now, joined to you, your mind freely given, I am filled at last, my life is complete."

Kirk hugged him fiercely. "You'll never know that hunger again," he promised. "and neither will I. Spock, make love to me now."

"Is that what you wish?" the Vulcan murmured softly. "Would you not prefer...?"

Kirk shook his head emphatically. "Indulge me in this. I want you to love me as you used to... as though none of this had happened. It was all a dream, a bad dream, but now we're awake." He chuckled wickedly. "I'll take advantage of your... offer... later; but right now, I want you to take me. I want to know how it feels with the bond."

As he spoke Kirk slid his hand down the Vulcan's thin body, stroking him, guiding Spock's head to his chest with his free hand. His lips caressed the pointed ear, whilst Spock licked lightly at his nipples, then began to suck on each in turn, teasing the sensitive flesh with his tongue.

After a moment the Vulcan pulled away and leaned over Kirk, his long fingers tracing paths of fire down the Human's body. Kirk moaned and arched upwards, and the Vulcan's mouth lightly touched each bruise left by their wild coupling of the previous night.

Gently Spock turned him onto his side, and moved down the willing body, parting his thighs and bending his head to the Human's groin. Already aroused, Kirk sobbed with relief as the hot mouth closed over him, sucking at him. Spock's hands moved to his buttocks, squeezing the soft mounds of flesh, and Kirk's hips began to sway in rhythm, each movement a delicious agony as Spock worked on him, almost allowing his organ to slip from between his lips, only to reclaim it to the root. Kirk s head thrashed on the pillow as his buttocks were carefully eased apart and the long fingers slid into him. They began to thrust in and out, deeper and still deeper, matching the movement of the Vulcan's mouth, and Kirk writhed in response, his body arching in ecstasy, his hands reaching to pull Spock's head even closer into his aching groin. Fully melded as they mere, the mind link gave him a sudden flash of insight into Spock's sensations, how it felt to have the cool throbbing flesh in his mouth, the urge to push his fingers even deeper into the tight yielding secrecy of Kirk's body.

The pleasure increased beyond bearing as Spock goaded him to frenzy, his mouth a hot whirlpool of sensation, drawing the life from him. Kirk's hips rose and fell, then he froze into stillness, his entire being centred in the incredible satisfaction as the climax shook him. Spock accepted and sucked harder, demanding more, his fingers working frantically as he stimulated the Human.

At last it was over. Spock released him, and Kirk relaxed back against the pillows, gasping for breath, his fingers playing with Spock's hair as the Vulcan rested his head on his belly, his hands stroking the quivering thighs.

After a moment Spock moved up to kiss him, Kirk parted his lips, his tongue reaching in an eager caress as Spock's entered his mouth.

with startled delight Kirk recognised the taste of his own semen as he had experienced it through the meld - so now, he thought happily as he sucked at the wet probing tongue, he knew exactly how he tasted to Spock.

The Vulcan's lips burned fire down his throat and across his chest, lingering gently over the swollen nipples. The muscles of his belly contracted as the hands stroked and caressed. There was a shifting of movement as Spock knelt astride him, and the thick, pulsating head of the Vulcan's maleness nudged blindly at his lips.

Kirk's tongue darted out, licking at the spicy-tasting flesh; he raised his head, and Spock's hand slid under his neck to support him as he took the straining organ into his mouth, sucking at it, feeling it swell and grow hard until his jaws were stretched wide to accommodate the bulk.

Eagerly this time, wanting it now, he sucked harder, milking the firm shaft; to his surprise Spock pulled away and smiled down at him.

"I wish to enter thee." The Vulcan's voice was thick with arousal.

"Yes! Yes, I want that. Come into me."

Spock reached for Kirk's thighs, spreading them wide apart so that he could kneel between them. He lifted Kirk's legs over his shoulders and drew the Human's hips towards him, so that his buttocks rested on the Vulcan's thighs and the tip of his organ pressed against his rectum. Kirk moaned, every muscle relaxing to admit his lover, but the Vulcan hesitated and gazed down at him worriedly.

"I have no cream," He said.

"That doesn't matter." Kirk clutched at Spock's arms. "Please, come into me now," he urged.

"No, I cannot." Spock shook his head firmly. "I have caused you too much pain already."

Sensing that the Vulcan was about to withdraw, Kirk groaned in frustration; and before Spock could realise what he intended and prevent him, Kirk reached down to grasp the swollen shaft, then arching his own hips he thrust himself forward, burying it deep within his own body.

He thrust again, driving it deeper, too intent to be aware of any pain. Then gasping, he slumped back and laughed up at Spock.

"Might as well finish what you've started," he grinned. "Once you've 'come' it'll be less painful for me when you pull out than if you try now."

"That is blackmail," Spock protested, and Kirk nodded agreement. Conceding defeat, Spock began to move, thrusting into Kirk's body with a slow insistent rhythm that soon had Kirk writhing helplessly. His hands moved, weaving a web of fire over Kirk's body as his thighs, belly, chest and face were caressed with merciless fingers. He dominated the Human completely, but unlike the times when he had forced his Sh'antal, his one sole concern now was to give him pleasure - an aim in which he succeeded as Kirk's lust grew.

Reaching down, Spock took Kirk in his hand and began to milk him slowly; the Human bit his lip to keep from crying out as the orgasm burst from him, covering his own body. So intense was his climax that he was totally surprised to discover when he regained his breath that the Vulcan was still firmly embedded in his body, and still hard. Longing now to feel the Vulcan's pleasure, Kirk began to squirm in his arms, hips lifting as he fought to take Spock's organ even deeper into the tight warm channel. Through the link he also shared the pleasure the Vulcan felt looking down at his panting, writhing lover, but the strongest impression that he was aware of was the sensation of being surrounded, protected, by the Vulcan's love.

Dark eyes smiled tenderly down at him, and Spock's hands rested on his body, stilling his movements. "Truly thee are beautiful," he whispered, and bent down to take Kirk's parted lips in a kiss.

Kirk gasped in mingled pain and pleasure as the movement drove the rigid ocean even further into him, stretching the tender flesh, and he wondered dazedly how much longer he could endure such pleasure. He returned Spock's kiss, coaxing the alien tongue between his lips, aware how the cool moisture of his mouth tasted to Spock, and of how much the Vulcan craved for him. The lips left his, brushed his eyes, his ears, and travelled down his neck to nip lightly at his throat. He arched his chest upwards, straining, offering himself.

At last, goaded beyond endurance, he slid his hands to the Vulcan's hips. "Please Spock," he pleaded hoarsely. "Don't make me wait any longer."

"What is it you wish?" the Vulcan teasingly asked. "Will you beg, Jim Kirk?"

"Yes! Oh, God, yes! I want your seed in me... Spock, give it to me now!"

In quick response -the Vulcan began to thrust, powerful lunges that pounded deep, parting the soft flesh. Kirk's muscles tightened, squeezing, and as the distended organ plunged in to its fullest extent, Spock convulsed, the spasms shaking their joined bodies.

Kirk moaned quietly. "Stay," he whispered as the tremors subsided, and felt Spock's muscles lock tight to maintain his erection.

Carefully, Spock lifted Kirk's legs from his shoulders and wriggled into position, supporting himself on his elbows. He looked down and smiled into Kirk's pleasure sated eyes. "Enough?" he asked tenderly, smoothing back the sweat-soaked hair.

"Mmm," Kirk nodded sleepily. "You'll have to wait for your turn Spock, I couldn't raise an eyebrow at the moment, never mind... "

"Quite," the Vulcan agreed drily. "However, I have great faith in your powers of recuperation."

"You'd better believe it." Kirk yawned unashamedly. "Bight now all I want to do is sleep, but tonight I'll come to your quarters...and mister, you've really got it coming."

"A circumstance I anticipate with pleasure," Spock assured him solemnly. "Jim, do you not wish to shower before you go to sleep?"

Kirk shook his head regretfully, "Haven't got the strength. Besides, if I move, you'll have to as well, and I want you right where you are."

He lightly stroked the crisp hair that pressed against his skin. "You know what would be nice?" he murmured.

"What?"

"To wake up and, feel you still there, hard and hot, and to have you take me again."

"Then I suggest that you sleep now, or your response will be disappointing," the Vulcan murmured, kissing his shoulder gently.

Kirk smiled. "Night, Spock," he whispered.

"Sleep well, Jim."

Kirk closed his eyes, already half asleep. He lay relaxed and at peace, safe and secure in the haven he had so very nearly lost. The bond assured him of his lover's utter contentment, and he knew that nothing could make him risk this happiness again. Just as he slid over the edge into sleep, Spock's mind touched his with a wordless message of total joy...

/T'hy'la - welcome home./


End file.
